24 September 2023

Linbert Spencer OBE, EMCC Non-executive Director and the EMCC Global Lead on Inclusion, Diversity, and Equality, continues his series on affirmations for use by inclusive mentors, coaches, and supervisors.

Inclusive mentoring, coaching or supervising is an intentional relationship of influence, the purpose of which is to cause ‘the other’ to consistently experience a sense of inclusion during the process. This is effected when they feel respected, valued, safe, trusted, and have a sense of belonging.

Each month I share suggested affirmations for inclusive mentors, coaches and supervisors. I want them to be a useful contribution to our professional activities, so I welcome feedback as to whether you find it useful, or if it’s simply used up 10 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back!

Over the years, I have experienced affirmations as an extremely powerful way to stay ‘on purpose’. We are all always affirming. The question is, are we using our affirmations to help ourselves, or are they abusing us? I wonder if any of these questions remind you of any of your self-talk:

Who do think you are – you can’t do that?
Why don’t you give up on her/him/them?
You don’t seriously believe that’s possible, do you?

Intentionality is key if we are to be more effective, inclusive mentors, coaches or supervisors. Taking control of our self-talk by practising affirmations daily is a great habit to cultivate. Don’t just use the ones I suggest. Build on them as your situation changes, but remember the basic rules.

Powerful affirmations are personal, present tense and positive, and focussed on who you want to be, and what you want to do, not on what you don't want.

Affirming first thing in the morning and last thing at night and speaking or writing the affirmation rather than just thinking it, is a powerful way to move more quickly towards being who you want to be, and consistently doing what you have committed to do.

Writing (not typing) your affirmations as you speak them helps you to develop a stronger understanding of what you are affirming. Writing them is a good habit to form.

Here is a foundational affirmation for the inclusive mentor, coach, or supervisor and I recommend you use it as the start to all your affirmations:

I am an inclusive mentor/coach/supervisor. I actively manage inclusion. I value diversity. I promote equality and I combat discrimination.

This month’s affirmation (if used, of course) is potentially life changing!

Affirmation 5 – I am my word. Those whom I mentor, coach or supervise, as well as other colleagues and stakeholders, know that I keep my promises.

People you seek to support or influence, and others you may engage with, will never feel valued or safe around you if they can’t trust you to be your word. This includes (apparently) small things such as being available for a call when you said you would be, or for the ad-hoc 1-2-1 catch up.

For the next 30 days, use this affirmation together with last month’s affirmation:

I create environments in which people feel valued, safe, respected and trusted. I am my word. Those whom I mentor, coach or supervise, as well as other colleagues and stakeholders, know that I keep my promises.

I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts about the affirmations as we move through the series. Please contact me on the link below. Find the earlier affirmations here:

Affirmations 1 and 2
Affirmations 3 and 4

Linbert Spencer OBE is an EMCC UK Non-Executive Director. He is the EMCC Global Lead on Inclusion, Diversity, and Equality.

Image by Clay Banks on Unsplash